Colder. You're getting colder.

Life got a little complicated somewhere along the way.

I mean, you have simple things to consider simply to stay alive and that's naturally at the top of the list. Physiological things according to some guy named Maslow.  I need to breathe, I need to eat, I need water (or something stronger these days), I need to sleep, I need shelter.  

Arguably, I need sex too, but the good Lord hasn't seen fit to end that dry spell either.  Points to Maslow for putting that at the most basic level of requirements, though.  He knows the way to a girl's heart.  If I had stopped at the bottom of the pyramid, life would have likely been way more simple.  

I am coming undone because of that heart that Maslow might have had, but he's a bit dead to claim it.  Not because I'm in love or anything so fortunate as that.  But rather, physically I am coming undone because of my heart.  My heart of gold.

I am hanging on for dear life myself these days and I'm terrified of looking down.  Each time they bleed me, I feel myself cool a bit more, I feel the fingers of apathy start creeping in.  It was never like that when I pricked myself, knicked myself, scored myself.  Maybe they're taking too much.  Maybe it's simply too often.

Maybe I always gave too little.

I've lived a life where I don't even know the rules of my self, let alone anything else.  I always assumed that no one would find me out, that it would be okay, that I would live a life of beautiful obscurity in the Court.

I thought very, very wrong.

And I am getting very, very cold.